Pittsburgh, PA – City of Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl kicked off his 2009 mayoral campaign today by announcing a new aggressive program to fight bathtub stains.

At a press conference held at the corporate offices of the Patete Kitchen and Bath Design Center today, a stern faced Ravenstahl brandished a yellow sponge and said, “For far too long, the residents of Pittsburgh have had to struggle with unsightly bathtub stains and blemishes. Previous administrations and my colleagues on city council, also too, have failed to properly and appropriately address the issue in a proper and appropriate fashion. I stand before you today and am able to say proudly that the days of rust stains and calcium deposits are a thing of the past for myself and others. I am pleased to announce that my administration has developed a revolutionary product to remove stains from the bathtubs of Pittsburgh’s aging housing stock. I have instructed public works director Guy Costa to personally deliver a gallon of this 21st century renaissance cleaning solution to each household in the city of Pittsburgh. And as a symbolic gesture to show that undertaking this undertaking is to secure Pittsburgh’s future of hope, I have named this revolutionary product after my son, Cooper Luke Ravenstahl.”

“Banjo Girl” by Albert Casatelli

Acrylics, 16″ x 24″

I’m not sure that I needed to pixelate that due to the abstract nature of the painting, but just in case…you know me, I’d hate to offend anyone. <cough>

Click here for uncensored version. I guess it’s NSFW.

The Ebay listing states that the artist’s figure paintings are always done from live models. I bet that looks good on the model’s resume: “posed nude with banjo.” That is a rare skill set to possess, to be able to both pose nude and play Foggy Mountain Breakdown.

Or maybe the artist was attending a hootenanny that got out of control and fetched his paints from his car so he could capture the moment. If that was the case, I’m glad he chose to paint the naked banjo playing woman and not something like a naked Ricky Skaggs playing mandolin.

As much as I’d like to say that this painting is odd, I have to admit that a naked woman with a banjo is a fantasy of mine.  I might just have to bid on this one.

I’ve never made New Year’s resolutions because, well, I just never have. But since 2008 sucked ass so much, I figured that I’d try something new with the hope that it will make 2009 better. Therefore, I present to you, the vast T&A readership:

Anthony’s 2009 New Year’s Resolutions

1. Blog like nobody’s watching; blog like I’ve never been hurt. Blog like nobody’s listening; Blog like it’s heaven on earth. <sigh>
2. Run for mayor. My campaign’s theme will be “Change” and “Hope.” Do you think it will work?
3. Put my dog to sleep. It’s time. He’ll be old enough to drive this year. I’ve been avoiding it. Mike Dawida will be happy.
4. Become self-employed and tell the people who laid me off to do something physically impossible.
5. Get Tunesmith’s ass back to Pittsburgh. And we ARE having a homecoming parade when it happens. Bit-O-Honey for everyone!!!
6. Hold quarterly gatherings of the Pittsburgh Bulgarian Line-dancing and Grilled Meats Society.
7. Watch every movie Lee J. Cobb ever appeared in.
8. Make fun of at least 50% more people.
9. Meet Sally Wiggin.
10. Start a new weekly feature, “Alizee Video of the Week.”
11. Read a book or two.
12. Find a store that sells Brioschi.
13. Record and release an EP of original material.
14. Finally buy that vacation home in Etna that I’ve been renting for the last 12 years.

Happy New Year!