This week’s issue of US Weekly is reporting that American Idol host Ryan Seacrest and the apparently desperate Desperate Housewives star Teri Hatcher were seen sucking face on a Malibu beach. Photographic evidence of the “unholy union” can be found on the US Weekly web site.

Upon hearing of this news, the T&A Investigative Team made a few phone calls and found out more about the relationship.

It is rumored that Hatcher has confided to close friends that immediately after lovemaking, Seacrest says, “Seacrest out!” before dismounting. Also, Hatcher is concerned that his constant questioning after sex is beginning to grate on her nerves. Allegedly, on one particular session of lovemaking, Hatcher became incensed when Seacrest asked, “How do you think you did? I noticed that you were a little more vocal last night when you achieved orgasm; did you hold back tonight? Did you change your approach to tonight’s lovemaking versus last night? We just did it doggy style but I know that you prefer the missionary position; did you feel out of your element tonight and if so, how do you think that affected your performance?”

Brian Dunkleman, the 21st Century’s answer to McLean Stevenson and former American Idol co-host with Seacrest who left the highly popular series after the first season, was asked by one news outlet for his comment on the Seacrest-Hatcher story. Speaking from the doorway of his basement studio apartment and visibly intoxicated, Dunkleman is quoted as saying, “Seacrest is my bitch. Banging Teri Hatcher is no big deal. He can have her. Just look at who Dunkleman is doing!” Dunkleman then produced a bottle of Jergen’s lotion and box of facial tissues with the names “Eva Longoria” and “Nicollette Sheridan” scribbled on each of them respectively.

Earlier this evening, Tunesmith and Anthony’s favorite American Idol contestant, Taylor Hicks, proved once again why he should be the next American Idol.

Tonight’s theme was “Songs of the 21st Century,” and Taylor made the ballsy decision of choosing the song “Trouble” by an artist who is unfortunately not very popular yet beloved by T&A, Ray LaMontagne. It was a magical moment. I hope you watched.

In case you didn’t watch, here’s a video of Ray LaMontagne himself performing “Trouble.” For all of you who haven’t bought his CD yet and don’t run out and buy it after watching this video, I’ll see you in Hell.

I was so moved by the heroic events of March 22, 2006 that I saw it only fitting to create a tribute video commemorating the day when a pigeon sniper changed Pittsburgh forever.

May we never forget…

This is not a tip but a full blown recipe my friends.

Grilled Peanut Butter and Jelly:

Heat Griddle or Skillet to 350 degrees. Put butter on one side of each slice of bread. Spread peanut butter on unbuttered side of one slice of bread and jelly on the other.Place one slice butter side down on the griddle .Top with other slice so that peanut butter and jelly are in the middle. Cook 4 minutes on each side or until golden brown.

Man this is heaven!

Bon Appetit !

There has been a recent spike in the sales of the official t-shirt of the Pittsburgh Bulgarian Line-Dancing & Grilled Meats Society. Six of these high-quality garments have been purchased over the course of the last month or so.

This is somewhat puzzling since the PBLDGMS has not gathered since last summer and with Mongkut’s deportation, there is a void left in the grilling department. The only explanation I can think of for these recent sales of the shirts is that either a group of people are forming their own unsanctioned renegade PBLDGMS, or a group of CMU drama students are buying them to wear to Saturday night karaoke at Nico’s Recovery Room.

This recent interest in the PBLDGMS as evidenced by the sale of these shirts has led me to the decision to apply for a Sprout Fund seed award to expand the PBLDGMS to either a series of more public functions or something else more official that is yet to be determined. I mean, really, if this idea could score a $9,400 grant from the Sprout Fund, I don’t see how they could deny helping to fund something that merges the magic of Bulgarian line-dancing, the medicine ball and grilled meats.

Any suggestions or interest expressed by you, the vast T&A readership, is welcome as always. And if anyone knows anything about grant writing or event organizing and would like to share their expertise to help bring the magic of the PBLDGMS to life, not only will Tunesmith and I be grateful, we’ll guarantee that you get a prime cut of meat grilled just how you like it.