The most recent post by WTAE’s Andrew Stockey to his blog is titled “Touching a Taboo Topic .” Of course being a male, I immediately thought it would be about sex since he used the word “taboo” in the title, but sadly that is not the case. Instead of sex, Andrew addresses—quite gracefully, I believe—the brouhaha over his move to the morning anchor chair. He acknowledges that some people have not warmed up to the move, yet he humbly remarks that he can only hope to win viewers over. It’s a stark contrast to how other people have reacted to the criticism of the changes made at WTAE, Scott Baker’s unceremonious departure and the moving of Wendy Bell from mornings to evenings.

I must admit that I initially wasn’t too crazy about Andrew moving to the morning newscast. And although I still believe he over enunciates, he has grown on me. It was a wise move on his part. I’m old enough to remember when the sports segment on the 6:00 news was longer than ninety seconds. Back in the day, it not only included sports news, but also commentary from the colorful likes of Myron Cope and the excessively-plaid Bill Currie. The sports segments of local TV news have degenerated into highlights of the local sports team and the occasional mention of Tiger Woods should he fart crooked. Therefore, a broadcaster with some ambition knows that there isn’t much potential for professional growth sitting in the sports chair.

If I have one complaint about WTAE’s decision to move Andrew to the morning news, it’s that the broadcast is still too damned cheery. I’m half dead in the morning when I wake up and therefore not really in the mood for a shits and giggles fest at 6:00AM. The pairing of Wendy Bell and Kelly Frey was bad enough; it was like a double dose of Entertainment Tonight’s Mary Hart. On cocaine. Therefore, I’m a little disappointed that the replacing of Wendy with Andrew hasn’t really toned down the cheeriness. Occasionally when I can’t stand the excess merriment, I’ll flip over to KDKA and watch the luscious Sonni Abatta and that DUI Jeep guy. They have all the charisma and chemistry of National Public Radio. But then I start to drift off to sleep and have to turn back to ‘TAE. It’s a vicious cycle. The only occasional and welcomed respite from the WTAE morning cheeriness is Demetrius Ivory. He may be forecasting tomorrow to be 77 degrees and sunny, but it’s always 32 degrees wherever Demetrius is. He’s one cool motherfucker.

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Speaking of weather, I can’t help notice that the Weather Watch 4 Team just keeps chugging along like a well-oiled machine throughout this entire Bell-Baker-Stockey “controversy.” I can just picture them kicking back on the roof of WTAE, smoking cigars and drinking Scotch, laughing at the controversy as Don Schwenneker mans the Weber grill…

SCHWENNEKER: Hey Crapper, you want a burger or a dog?
CROPPER: Burger. And quit calling me “Crapper.”
SCHWENNEKER: Roger that, Crapper. Yo, D-Man, dog or burger?
IVORY: [singing]…so take a good look at my face, you’ll see my smile looks out of place…
SCHWENNEKER: [plucks earphones from Demetrius’ ears] Burger or dog?
IVORY: One of each, sil vous plait. I could use more ice in my Dewer’s, too.
SCHWENNEKER: Hey Crapper, where’d Kienzle go?
CROPPER: A northwesterly breeze blew her off the roof five minutes ago.
SCHWENNEKER: That girl needs to start eating more.
CROPPER: Hey Schwenny, I’ll give you a saw buck if you can nail Bell’s car with a hotdog.
SCHWENNEKER: Hell no, I’m not messing with her. Don’t you read the Burgh Blog?
[Laughter]

I want Virginia Linn’s job.

Who is Virginia Linn, you ask? She writes for the Post-Gazette. In fact, she has won the Pittsburgh Black Media Federation’s Robert L. Vann Award as well as a Pennsylvania Associated Press Managing Editors award. While a search of her name on the P-G’s site shows that she has written a few articles, it appears that her main responsibility is to write those little “Take a Moment” columns found in the bowels of the Sunday P-G’s “On the Go” section. Although the “On the Go” section is supposed to appeal to young and hip movers and shakers like myself, I rarely read it because month-old technology news and two-pagers on Steely Dan just don’t really interest me. Crazy, I know. But for some reason yesterday, I perused the section and the “Take a Moment” headline, “Lime juice plus gin equals gimlet” caught my eye, causing me to laugh my ass off.

Now really, what would make someone even think of writing an article about the history and making of a gimlet? In a moment of severe writer’s block, Ms. Linn must have picked the topic by closing her eyes and randomly pointing to the word “gimlet” in a dictionary. That’s the only logical explanation I can think of. The kicker is that the recipe for a gimlet is half gin and half lime juice. A freakin’ cup of coffee is more challenging to prepare than a gimlet. You’d think that if a person was going to write an article on a cocktail that said cocktail would be a bit more exotic or unusual.

I initially gave Ms. Linn the benefit of the doubt thinking that perhaps she was just having an off week. Looking at the P-G archives, I noticed these previous “Take a Moment” headlines penned by Ms. Linn:

May 28: Stretching maintains flexibility
June 11: Keep hip muscles flexible
July 30: Do exercises during flight
August 06: Raise heels during flight
August 13: On lengthy flight, stand and stretch
August 20: Bend, stretch while on plane

Four straight weeks of articles containing tips on how to stretch during a flight? Gimme a break. If you want to give me tips to use when I’m on an airplane, tell me how to make the asshole sitting next to me to stop playing with his personal overhead light and air vent during the entire flight. If stretching on an airplane is such a problem, perhaps one big article would be in order, Jack.

For years we’ve been hearing how print news readership and circulation has been steadily declining (thereby causing advertising revenue to decline) due to the Internet. As one way to try to reverse this trend, the P-G put together the “On the Go” section to try to give the paper a more contemporary feel. And what do they do? They load it up with cutting-edge items such as instructions on how to stretch on an airplane and how to prepare a gimlet, a drink conceived by the British Navy as a remedy to prevent scurvy. And the big creepy photo of Steely Dan in yesterday’s edition? I’m going to have nightmares over that shit. As I’ve said for years, Steely Dan is to be heard, not to be looked at. (And really, Steely Dan is not to be heard frequently, if ever.)

I bet when the P-G was in grade school, its parents were the last in the neighborhood to get a VCR and a microwave oven.

Today marks the 16th anniversary of the death of the greatest guitarist of all time, Mr. Stevie Ray Vaughan. Click here to see SRV performing a cover of the Isley Brothers’ Testify. Rave on, Jack.

Technorati : SRV, Stevie Ray Vaughan

This week’s Worst Cover Song of the Week has John Denver & David Essex performing a Buddy Holly medley. It’s as painful to watch as it is to listen to. Enjoy.

I thought it was highly inappropriate that a bunch of Nazis showed up for the Catholic mass held for Mayor O’Connor last night.

* This post marks the first time a Pittsburgh blog posted an entry containing the word “Nazi” without mentioning Rick Santorum.

Technorati : Pittsburgh