I think the WTAE graphics people did this just for me—Wiggin & Schwenneker.

But what’s up with the Wiggin-o’-lantern? It looks like she’s either talking out of the side of her mouth or her tongue is sticking out.

Things Eric Clapton Never Wants to Have Happen to You:
Lay your head down without a hand to hold
Make your bed out in the cold
Lose your temper if you get hit in a barroom fight
Lose your woman overnight

Potential Names of Pornographic Movies Starring WTAE’s Bob Mayo:
Hold the Mayo
Bob Mayo’s Miracle Whip
Heavy on the Mayo (plumper flick)
Bob Mayo’s Ass Parade #14

Names of Pittsburgh Fitness Videos:
Reddin’ Up to the Oldies
Fred Honsberger’s 2 Weeks to Jowls of Steel
Joe Negri’s “Classical Gas” Glute Workout

Nonexistent Labor Unions:
United Plectrum Fabricators of America
International Brotherhood of Plaid Designers
United Cheeseworkers of America
American Rickshaw Drivers Association
United Association of Liaisons & Go-betweens
American Federation of Slam Poets
Pennsylvania Handbell Players Guild

A bum covers the Chuck Mangione magnum opus “Feels So Good.” The person who posted the video to YouTube titled it “Chuck Bumgione.” That’s some funny shit.

I am writing today to remind the vast T&A readership that the 2nd annual National Toupee Forgiveness Day is quickly approaching, being celebrated this year on November 27. For those of you unfamiliar, National Toupee Forgiveness Day was started by T&A in 2005 to give longtime toupee wearers the opportunity to get out from under their hairpieces with dignity. You can read the entire background on this special day here, but what follows is all you really need to know.

The Tenets of National Toupee Forgiveness Day:

1. Long suffering toupee wearers who have yearned to cease wearing a toupee but have not for fear of embarrassment shall stop wearing their toupees on National Toupee Forgiveness Day.

2. A habitual toupee wearing person’s failure to wear his toupee on National Toupee Forgiveness Day shall and will be interpreted as his tacit acceptance to participate in and enjoy all benefits of National Toupee Forgiveness Day.

3. The non-toupee wearing general public shall promise not to acknowledge in any manner or form that a former toupee wearing person has suddenly stopped wearing his toupee on National Toupee Forgiveness Day. No references to a participant’s appearance, past or present, shall be made either in the form of compliment or ridicule.

4. All parties involved agree to never mention or acknowledge a participant’s former toupee wearing habits into perpetuity.

5. Going forward, National Toupee Forgiveness Day shall be observed annually on the Monday following Thanksgiving.

If you would like to help your fellow man by spreading the word about National Toupee Forgiveness Day, simply cut and paste the following HTML code somewhere on your web site to include the above graphic which will link to this page. Thank you. Together, we can change this world for the better, one toupee at a time.

<a href="http://www.tunesmith-anthony.com/?p=538"><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v521/tunethony/toupee2006.gif" alt="National Toupee Forgiveness Day"/></a>

Wake the kids, call the neighbors! The Empress of Pittsburgh TV News has her very own blog! Finally!

Oh, how this pleases me.

One of the first things The Empress states in her new blog is, ‘I am still ambivalent about the culture of “blog”.’ Ambivalent? Culture of blog? Hmmm. If I didn’t know better, I may find that statement slightly insulting. But now The Empress has joined the culture of “blog” thereby uplifting the culture of “blog” by purple leopard printed leaps and bounds.

Head on over to Sally Wiggin’s Blog this Wigginstant. In her first Wigginteresting post, she shares zany tales from a special evening she spent with one Mr. Regis Philbin last week. There’s even a photo of The Empress with Regis, and if you click on it to enlarge it, you’ll get a good gander at Regis’ liver spots. I printed a copy of this photo and hung it on the bulletin board in my office at work. I suggest you do the same. It really brightens things up.

I’m quite excited that The Empress has joined the likes of Wendy Bell, Demetrius Ivory, The Schwenneker and even Andrew Stockey with her own blog. Hopefully The Empress’ foray into the culture of blog will be rewarding for both writer and reader.