Why is The Enunciator smiling? Because he has dryer balls! 

And if you can't sing, there are always musical instruments.

I really wish the gas pumps at the Get-Go would stop asking me if I would like a damned carwash. Yeah, I passed two gas stations on the way here to cash in my fucking dime of Fuelperks to save $2 on my $60 fill up, but I’m going to give you seven more dollars to have my car washed in your little carwash garage thing. Ummm, no. I wonder how many poor bastards have pushed “yes” by mistake.

Tunesmith was correct in predicting Paul Newman would be dead by Sunday. He just picked the wrong weekend. RIP, Cool Hand Luke.

Just as I dubbed Sally Wiggin The Empress, I hereby declare that henceforth, Andrew Stockey shall be referred to as The Enunciator.

WTAE and Highmark are partnering to hold a town hall meeting on October 7th on bullying. “A distinguished panel of experts in bullying prevention will share compelling information about children who are bullied, those who bully, as well as those who are merely bystanders to bullying.” Great idea. Let’s work to defer the physical and mental assault of our children by their peers until after they graduate college and enter the workforce where the real bullying takes place.  (As an aside, who determines that the panel members are distinguished? For once I’d like to see an unremarkable panel…oh wait, that’s Pittsburgh’s city council… ba dump-bump!) 

The Grand Blue-Collar Underbite Blowhard is going to play the Super Bowl halftime show. Oh joy. I hope he doesn’t expose Clarence Clemons’ breast. 

McCain is kicking ass.

[UPDATE 10:10PM]: McCain is still kicking ass.

[UPDATE 10:35PM]: McCain? Kicking ass.

[UPDATE 10:38PM]: The winner:

Andrew Stockey is the new Wendy Bell. All the perkiness of Wendy, but with 50% more pro-nun-ci-a-tion!

Things started going downhill at 4 when they let The Schwenneker leave town. He wasn't worth keeping here but he's already co-anchoring the morning and mid-day news in Chicago. No more standing in front of a weather map for the big guy. What's that, the third largest market in the country or something? 

Mike Clark in the morning? Yeah, let's have the veteran newsman rehash the 11:00 news from the night before and banter with Robin Roberts. 

And only a half hour for the Empress? 

And the incredibly underrated, steady and makes-me-want-to-drink-cocoa-under-a-blanket Michelle Wright, only a half hour?

Who's judging talent at WTAE, Paula Abdul?